


Heartstrings

by westwingfanfictioncentral_archivist



Category: The West Wing
Genre: Alternate Universe, F/M, Pre-White House (West Wing)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2000-06-09
Updated: 2000-06-09
Packaged: 2019-05-15 22:24:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 8,494
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14799113
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/westwingfanfictioncentral_archivist/pseuds/westwingfanfictioncentral_archivist
Summary: Two past lovers are reunited.





	1. Heartstrings

**Author's Note:**

> A copy of this work was once archived at National Library, a part of the [ West Wing Fanfiction Central](https://fanlore.org/wiki/West_Wing_Fanfiction_Central), a West Wing fanfiction archive. More information about the Open Doors approved archive move can be found in the [announcement post](http://archiveofourown.org/admin_posts/8325).

Title: Heartstrings - part 1

Author: Janice

Rating: PG-13

Disclaimer: I do not own the characters. The West Wing and the  characters are the property of Aaron Sorkin, Warner Brothers  Television and NBC. No Copyright infringement is intended.

Summary: Two past lovers are reunited.

Note: The part of dialogs in < > are the characters' thoughts.

***** Cambridge, England - mid June, 1986 *****

The May Ball at Cambridge University was already in full  swing when he arrived.

"I really shouldn't have agreed to come with you, Alice." 

"You already said that twenty times since we left the house  half an hour ago. Come on, this is the famous May Ball of Cambridge  that we are talking about," said Alice, "and since we are already  here, why don't we just relax and enjoy the night."

"Enjoy?! You call me partying with a bunch of twenty-year- old babies an enjoyment," he exclaimed with mock annoyance.

"Last time I checked a twenty-year-old college student is not  a baby. Besides, you know you enjoy spending time with me, your  favorite cousin, so don't pretend to be annoyed," said Alice who  couldn't hide the excitement in her voice.

He could not blame her to be overjoyed. Being an undergrad  at Cambridge is not an easy task, and she certainly deserved to have  some fun after battling through Examinations. However, this  certainly was not what he had planned when he told his boss that he  needed to take some time off to unwind after helping him won the  senate seat. For the past fifteen minutes he stood next to Alice,  listened to she and her 3 girl friends debating whether the security  guard positioned at the main entrance of King's College Chapel looks  better or the one at St. John's College does, and his headache grew  stronger by the minute. He slowly walked toward the River Cam,  hoping he could find some peace there. 

"Don't they have more important things to do?" He murmured.

"You are not having fun?"

He jumped slightly. He was so engrossed in his own thought,  that he did not notice that he was not alone. Startled he turned  around sharply trying to find out whom the voice belong to, and then  he saw her. There she was, she sat on the lawn, leaned against the  big oak tree with her long legs fully stretched in front of her and  clad in an elegant pale yellow silk dress and a matching scarf that  made her look like a fairy-tale princess. She looked like she was  barely twenty years old if not younger.

"I am sorry. I did not mean to startle you." The girl  smiled at him apologetically.

"Oh, that's okay. I just did not expect anybody to be out  here." He made his way toward the girl. She had a beautiful face,  he thought when he was finally close enough to see clearly what she  looked like.

"Hi! My name is Andrew." He found himself smiling back,  smiling back at her warm, unassuming smile.

"Jeanie. Nice meeting you, and you haven't answered my  question."

"What?" Still trying to figure out why he gave her his  middle name instead of his real name, he did not quite comprehend  what she meant.

"MY question."

"Oh, that! Well, I am twenty-eight years old, and partying  with a group of college kids is really NOT my kind of fun. How about  you? Why are you sitting here all by yourself? Trying to see how  many people you can frighten away by the end of party?" He asked  teasingly.

"Ha! Very funny. My friends were playing stripe poker and  drinking scotch, and that is not MINE kind of fun."

"You don't sound British. Are you from the States?"

"California. I am here on a student exchange program for a  year. How about you?"

"New York. I came to visit my aunt, and for some reason I  still don't know, I agree to come here with my twenty-year-old cousin  as her chauffeur."

***** Washington DC - May, 2000 *****

A sudden police siren passing through the street pulled Toby  out of his slumber. For a while he sat there on his bed feeling  disoriented and couldn't figure out where he was, then he got out of  the bed deciding to get some wine to calm his racing heart beat.  Grabbing his robe, he made his way toward the kitchen barefooted. 

"Why the dream now?" He wondered out loud. 

He had not thought about the night for a while, why now. Was  this his subconscious telling him that he was actually bothered by  the rumor of her latest romance more than he cared to admit? Slowly,  he let his mind drifted back to the night.

***** Cambridge, England - mid June, 1986 *****

After days of rain, the weather tonight was surprisingly  pleasant for a change. He could felt light zephyr breeze by his  face, sometimes a mischievous wind would send her hair into flying,  and then he would actually smell the light floral fragrance on her  hair. They sat by the riverbank talking like old friends with topics  ranging from the latest foreign policy of United States to the latest  tabloid gossip of Princess Diana to college jokes. He was surprised  to learn that she was a smart talker, she knew what she thought, and  she was never afraid to express it. Even more so, he was surprised  at how much he enjoyed her company and how at ease he was with her.  For someone was always known as a loner like him that was really not  normal, his colleagues did not call him maverick for nothing.

Pointing to the red Porsche parked not far from where they  sat she said, "Brian, my boyfriend, has a white one; he got that  from his parents for his 21st birthday six month ago. For three  months before I left for here I kept trying to persuade him into let  me drive it, but he wouldn't give. Have you ever driven one?"

"I am a speech writer, and I really cannot afford a car like  that with the salary they pay me."

"A speech writer? Umm... sounds like an interesting job."

"Yah, telling people where to put a comma, where to add a  verb is REALLY interesting," he said sardonically.

Then, he saw her started to lean toward him, and before he  realized what was going on, he felt himself being pulled forward and  kissed. He hesitated for a second, shocked by the latest change of  event, but soon he was able to regain his composure and took control  to deepen the kiss. He felt her body stiffen for a second, but then  she wrapped her arms around his neck and leaned into the kiss more.  He really enjoyed the way her soft body molded into his, and not to  mention that she tasted like fine wine. However as sudden as the  kiss began, she pulled away from him abruptly. Looking down at her  hand, she murmured a barely audible apology, and made a quick dash  toward the main campus. Luckily, her long gown kept her from running  too fast, so he could catch her quickly.

"Waiiiiit." He tried to catch his breath.

"Alice and I planed to do some sightseeing of London  tomorrow, but she couldn't go now because she caught a bad flu. I  really hate to go alone, so do you think you can come with me?" He  kept his figures cross behind his back and hoped she wouldn't ask him  how come Alice could come to the May Ball tonight with a serious  flu. 

"Sorry, Alice. I did not mean to curse you; I need an excuse  to see her again. You will understand, right?" He apologized to his  cousin silently.

Still too embarrassed to look at him, she said softly, " I  really don't think it's a such good idea."

"Come on. It'll be fun. Besides, you really don't want to  see me spend the last three days of my vacation alone, do you," he  begged giving her his best puppy dog look.

"Okaaaaay." 

After telling him her phone number, she tried to make another  attempt to run away from him, but this time he was able to take hold  of her arm before she took her first step.

"I just want to tell you that I don't mind more 'grabbing and  kissing' from you, but next time can you please give me some kind of  warning first before you do that. That way I can be better  prepared." He winked at her.

To his amusement her face turned into a deep crimson red that  he never thought was humanly possible. Watching her ran into the  college building he silently said a thank you to his cousin for  forcing him to come to the Ball tonight before slowly making his way  back to the crowd, knowing the next three day would probably be the  most memorable days of his life.

***** Washington DC - May, 2000 *****

Suddenly another police siren brought him back to reality  again. 

Cursing something inaudible under his breath, "Gosh, they  really have to do something with the siren."

"Well, at least now I know how to repay Josh for the panda  bear thing," he said with a devilish grin.

He started to picture Josh explaining to police chief why the  White House is pushing for a bill that requires police cars using Fur  Elise instead of normal high pitched siren after 11pm. Leo would  never agree on it, but it would be entertaining to watch Josh squirms  under the hateful eyes of a team of muscular police officers.

"Boy, I don't what to miss it." At least that'll teach Josh  something.

Knowing that he would not be able to get more sleep tonight,  he made his way to his home office; intended to spend some time  studying the new Education Bill that Sam and Josh recently came up  with. He got out of the files from his brief case, started to read  the first line, then something on his desk caught his eyes. It was a  five-inch miniature version of the Big Ben of London. 

***** Heathrow Airport, England - mid June, 1986 *****

He was going home today, and he was not in a good mood. He  and Jeanie walked slowly toward the security gate hand in hand; both  of them were too wrapped up in their own thought to make any  conversation. They just spent three beautiful days together, and he  knew he was helplessly in love with her. He wanted to tell her how  much he loved her, he wanted to tell her how much she meant to him,  but he did not have the strength to say it. 

"I will call you when I get home"

"I don't think that is a good idea."

"What do you mean?" He felt his heart dropped.

"I don't think this will work."

"What do you mean?" He asked, sounding like a broken record.

"I already have a boy friend, and you have a girl friend.  Brain has been so nice to me, and I don't want to hurt him."

"But..."

She interrupted him, "please." Tears started to drop from  her gorgeous eyes.

"If that's what you want," he said, fighting to keep back the  tears.

He let his eyes wondered around the airport; he did not want  her to see the sorrow, the dejection and of course - the love in his  eyes. Then the small ceramic replica of Big Ben in the window of a  duty free shop caught his eyes. He dragged her into the shop and  bought two of them. Borrowing a marker from the clerk he signed on  the bottom of one of them and handed it to her.

"For the memory of the past three days," he tried to give her  a smile but failed miserably. 

She accepted it with tears swirl in her eyes and gave him a  light kiss on his cheek. Taking the marker and the other Big Ben  from his hand, she signed on the bottom of it like what he just did.

"I guess this is it," he said when they arrived at the gate,  a single tear dropped from his eye as well.

She reached up, wiped the tear from his face, and gave him a  light kiss on the lip.

"If we are meant to be together, we will meet again," she  told him softly.

***** Washington DC - May, 2000 *****

He held the small figure in his hands and wondered whether  things would be different if he had stayed at London longer. Slowly,  he turned the figure around in his hand, and on the bottom of the Big  Ben is the now all too familiar signature of her.

"Jeanie? Nice try, Claudia Jean!"

..... to be continued

*** ^_^ *** ^_^ *** ^_^ *** ^_^ *** ^_^ ***

Okay, that was my first attempt at any kind of fan fiction.  What do you think? Should I continue with it? Please send me  commments - good/bad.

Thank you Sasha for beta-reading it for me.

Also, thank you KArlena for coming up with the name Andrew.

When I wrote the part about the police siren, I did not mean  to be unrespectful to the police force. Please don't send me hate  mails... or tickets.

I know the idea of CJ/Toby romance is not too popular, and to  be honest with you I did not like the idea too much myself at  beginning. However I found myself thinking about it more and more  after I read Lauren's story - "Heart and Shoulder"  (http://homepages.go.com/~thewestwing/fanfiction.html#couple). I  think she is right; the idea grows on you. So please give it a  chance.

Janice

  

  

  

  


	2. Heartstrings 2

Disclaimers: see part I

***** Heartstrings - Part 2 *****

*****

"Hey, C.J.! About the briefing this afternoon..." 

C.J. quickly jumped away from Danny's embrace; she could feel  her face turning red. 

She scrambled for the right thing to say. "Danny and I... we  were... I was just...Hell! What do you want, Toby?" 

"I am sorry. I should knock first," Toby said, ignoring the  sour feeling that was beginning to creep into his heart.

"C.J., I'll see you later at the briefing. Bye, Toby."  Danny made a quick dash toward the door after giving Toby a polite  smile.

"Toby, that's not what you think. I just told..."

"You don't have to explain anything to me," he interrupted  her quickly, not sure if his heart could handle the details. 

< That is true, > she thought to herself. However, she still  felt she needed to explain her action to Toby; she didn't want him to  misunderstand her relationship with Danny.

< Why the hell should I care what he thinks about Danny and  me? He doesn't own me. > C.J. mused.

< Why am I feeling that I just caught my wife in bed with  another man? She is only a coworker. Get a hold of yourself, Toby! >

Both of them were too wrap up in their own thoughts that they  didn't notice Josh walking in the office. "Am I interrupting some  kind of religious ritual?" Josh said, leaning against the doorframe,  looking back and forth at C.J. and Toby suspiciously. 

Josh's voice made both of them jumped simultaneously, "No,"  C.J. answered sheepishly while Toby pretended to read the memo in his  hand.

"Then, why were you staring at each other? Were you  practicing ESP or something" Josh smiled at them teasingly.

"Josh," Toby said impatiently, trying to cover his  embarrassment. "What do you need?"

"Oh, I just want to make sure that the little thing at your  house tonight is still on."

"Yes. Isn't there something productive you could be doing  right now?"

"I work in the White House, I'll have someone else do itDo  you want me to bring anything? Beer? Wine?"

"No, Josh, and go back to work!"

"I am on my way," he said, giving C.J. a look to let her know  that he would come later to question her more about that little  display.

"I should also get back to my office to finish the  President's speech."

"Didn't you say you wanted to ask me something about the  briefing?" 

"Forget it. It's nothing." Toby said, leaving her office  quickly like he was running from something.

< What was that about? > She sank down to the sofa, trying  to slow down her racing heartbeat. 

She needed to get a hold of herself; she needed to stop  acting like a high school freshman having a crush on the captain of  the basketball team every time she saw Toby. She was not nineteen  anymore, and they were not in England. 

< He probably doesn't even recognize me, > she didn't know  why the thought made her heart ache. 

*****

"C.J, Are you busy now?" Josh said, sitting down on the sofa  in her office. 

"For you, I will always have time," she took the glasses off  her head and made her way toward the sofa.

"So, what can I do for you, Josh?"

"Oh, nothing. I just came to see how my best friend doing." 

"I've had better days," C.J. slumped down next to Josh on the  sofa. 

"Poor girl, what can I do for you," he started to give C.J. a  shoulder massage. 

"Well, if you can put a bomb in the press room, then that  will be really helpful," she gave him a exhausting smile. 

"Sorry, C.J. I studied law in college, and I guess they  forgot to cover basic explosive mechanics."

Remembering what he saw in this office that morning, he  added, "So, what was going on between you and Toby?"

"Nothing, why?" She looked down at her hands. She hated to  lie to a friend, especially someone like Josh, who was always there  for her no matter what.

"Nothing? I don't think so."

Josh tried to press for more, but Donna chose to come into  the room at that moment. 

"Josh, you have a meeting on the Hill in twenty minutes. You  will be late if you don't leave now."

"Okay, okay," he gave C.J. an apologetic smile.

"We will talk about it later. You know that my door is  always open for you, don't you," he turned around at the door.

"I do. Thanks, Josh." Somehow that little chat with Josh  made her feel reenergized, and she knew she was once again ready to  face whatever the press, corps, or Toby, might throw at her.

***** 

She really didn't look much different now then fourteen years  ago. Toby thought, glancing at C.J. who was discussing the latest  fashion trend with Donna in his living room. He watched her toss her  head back and laughed at something Donna just said, and he felt his  heart skip a beat. He loved her cheerful, lively smile, he had since  the first time he saw her, and it was times like these that he wished  he hadn't broken up with her so many years ago. He was glad that  he'd had the foresight to invite some of his close coworkers to his  house for dinner a couple days ago. The dream about C.J. that  morning made him felt more lonesome than usual, and he was not  looking forward to spending the night in his cold apartment by  himself. The comforting noise of his friends talking and laughing in  his usually cold apartment was just what he needed to chase away the  emptiness that he felt all day.

"Toby, I don't know if this how you New Yorkers like your  steaks, but I like mine burnt to a crisp." Josh, who smiled like the  cat that just swallowed the canary, pointed at the dark, overcooked  steak; he was pleased at himself that he caught Toby off guard twice  in one day.

"Christ, Josh! You have stop sneaking up behind people, or  I'll tie a bell around your neck."

"No, that's what Leo wants to do with C.J. I'll leave the  honor to her." he said making his way out of the kitchen after  grabbing two cans of coke from the refrigerator for Sam and Leo.

*****

"Hey, C.J. The dinner is ready, and you better come out  quick. I think I just heard Josh and Sam plotting conspiracies again  your steak." Toby said when he finally found C.J. sitting in front  of his desk in his home office.

"You still have it," she returned her gaze to the thing in  her hand.

"Oh, that..." he winced, seeing her holding the Big Ben in  her hand.

He didn't know what to say. He didn't know whether she would  be irritated or if she would laugh at him. It was something they  never talked about, and he didn't look forward to starting it then.

"Hey, you two. The steaks are getting cold."

Saved by Josh again... Toby breathed a sigh of relief. "Josh  is right. Come on, C.J. Let's go."

C.J. got up and walked out of the room behind two of them.

< Josh, you really have the worst timing in the world, > she  thought silently.

She had wanted to speak to Toby about their past since she  met him again during the primary, well since after she got over the  initial shock of seeing him to be exact, but she quickly put the  thought to the back of her mind when she realized that he was married  to Congresswoman Wyatt. When he got divorced, she thought maybe they  finally had a chance, however Toby never said a thing, not even a  little hint to let her knew that he still remembered her. That was  why she chickened-out. Over the years she could not stop wondering  whether he still hated her, or whether he still had any feeling for  her. And the feeling of not knowing was starting to take a toll on  her that was why she was actually pleased when Toby walked into the  office and caught her looking at the Big Ben. She thought that might  be the chance she was waiting for. C.J. knew she still had deep  feelings for him, but did he? She was tired of tiptoeing around the  subject. She needed to know what Toby thought; that way she could  move on with her life if he felt that chapter of their relationship  was over, even if that meant she had to pick up her shattered heart  piece by piece.

*****

\-- To Be Continued --

  

  

  


	3. Heartstrings 3

Disclaimers: see part I

***** Heartstrings - Part III *****

***** 

"Toby, the dinner was great. Thank you for inviting us."  Leo said while everybody was getting ready to go home.

C.J. slowly followed the group, making her way toward the  elevator. She was thankful that the party was over. Through out  dinner, she could not stop wondering why Toby still kept the Big Ben  with him. Did that mean he no longer blamed her on ending their  romance? Did that mean he still loved her? Did that mean in spite  of every terrible thing she did to him she might still have a chance?

"C.J., are you going to stay in that elevator all night?"  Josh's voice pulled her out of the daydream, and she realized that  everybody had already stepped off the elevator and were looking at  her quizzically.

"Oh, I forgot my glasses at Toby's apartment. I am going  back up to get them," she lied.

"Do you want me to wait for you?"

"No, that's okay. You guys go ahead. I'll see you tomorrow."

"Okay, night C.J."

***** 

She stood in front of Toby's front door, trying to gather up  enough courage to knock. Suddenly the door opened and caused C.J. to  jump back a couple steps.

"Toby, you scared the hell out of me!" She exclaimed.

"Well, now we are even," they both smiled, remembering the  past they shared.

"Why are you standing at my front door? I don't remember  requesting for any doorman... or doorwoman." Toby teased her with  his usual dark humor.

"We need to talk." C.J. said with a determined voice,  letting him know that there was no way he could back away from it  anymore.

"Come in," he reluctantly opened the door wide for her to  step in.

"Have a seat. I'll make us some coffee." Toby made his way  toward the kitchen after he hung her coat in the closet.

He took time in making the coffee. He knew what C.J. wanted  to talk about. She wanted to tell him that their past was in the  past, and it was time for him to move on. The problem was that he  wasn't ready to hear it. < Moving on? Well, it was easy for her to  say. She has Danny. > He thought miserably, < how do I let her go?  > 

Toby made his way toward where C.J. was standing, facing the  widow and handed her the coffee.

"Toby..."

"Wait, C.J. Before you say anything, let me say this first."

< God, this is tougher than I thought. > Toby took a deep  breath and turned to face her.

"C.J., I'm glad that you found someone to love you. Danny  is a good man, and I'm sure he will bring you a lot of happiness. I  am happy for you."

< There I said it, but why do I feel like somebody just  sucked all blood out of my body. > 

"Toby! What are you talking about?"

He was going to say something, but she beat him to it. "Shut  up, Toby! You already had your say, and now you are going to sit  there quietly and listen to what *I* have to say." 

C.J. continued after she took a sip of the coffee. "First of  all, I am NOT dating Danny, and the embrace you saw at my office  today was no more than an embrace between two good friends."

"Toby, I know I hurt you badly when we were in London. I  don't know if you will ever forgive me, but if it means anything to  you, I am genuinely sorry. I thought I made the right decision at  that time, but I started regretting it the second I said it. You  know, for years I kept thinking about you. What are you doing? Are  you married? Are you happy? Do you remember me? Do you miss me the  way I miss you?" Her voice started to crack and she tried to fight  back the tears that were threatening to drop. 

C.J. took another big sip of the coffee, trying to calm  herself down. "I... I love you, Toby. I did fourteen years ago,  and I still do now." 

Wow, she felt like a ton of steel was lifted off her  shoulders. She also knew that she just put her heart on the table,  and it was now up to Toby to either love it or break it.  Her heart was pounding so fast in her chest; she was sure even Toby  could hear it. C.J. looked down at her hands, and she realized that  she was holding the coffee mug so tight that her knuckles were pale  white.

"C.J., that was the most wonderful thing that anyone has ever  said to me. I don't know what to say." Tears were also filling his  eyes.

She tried to say something, but all coherent thoughts fled  from her mind when Toby started to trace her lips with his thumb.  She closed her eyes to feel his soft touch, and a low whimper escaped  from her throat. Toby wrapped his arms around her and slowly lowered  his mouth on hers. When his lips touched hers, she knew that after  years of searching and drifting, she was finally home.

*****

C.J. was drifting between sleep and consciousness. Her naked  back pressed tightly against Toby's chest, and his arm wrapped  protectively around her waist. Despite their height difference,  their bodies fit like gloves. Toby was nibbling and kissing her ear,  and she felt she could stay right then, right there forever. She  turned around in his arm and gave him a passionate kiss on the lips.

"Good morning." She looked into his warm eyes, and flashed  him a lovely smile.

"A very good morning indeed." He watched her admiringly as  she stretched her body like a Persian cat, and he leaned down to give  her another deep kiss.

"What time is it?" She said between kisses, and a low moan  escaped from her throat at the same time.

"Six o'clock, I think." He said nonchalantly; he had his  full attention on kissing the gorgeous face of C.J. Cregg.

"SIX!" C.J. quickly sat up on the bed and checked the clock  on the nightstand next to the bed.

"Gosh. I have to go." She tried to get out of the bed, but  Toby wrapped an arm around her stomach and pulled her back down to  the bed.

"It's only six, and the staff meeting is at eight. We still  have time." He kissed her neck and tried to make his way down her  body.

"But I have to go home and shower. Come on, Toby. Let me  get up." The romantic side of C.J. wanted to give in to his soft  kisses and spend the lovely day in bed with Toby, but the rational  side of C.J. told her that she had to get up and get ready for work.  Eventually, the rational C.J. won the battle. She jumped out of the  bed, and started to put on her clothes that were scattered all over  the floor.

"You can take the shower here." Toby propped himself up on  one arm and watched her dress. He was still amazed that a beautiful  woman like C.J. would love someone like him. 

"Unlike Josh and Sam, I like to wear different suits to work  everyday. Besides, I'll never hear the end of it if those two clowns  figure out that I wore the same suite two days in a row. And I am  NOT going to give them the satisfaction of doing that."

She giggled when she heard Toby letting out a dejected groan  and blew a kiss at him. Seeing that he was not able to talk her into  coming back to the bed, Toby grabbed the rob that was draped on the  chair next to the bed and followed her out of the bedroom. 

"I love you, Toby. I had a wonderful night last night," she  turned around at the front door and gave him a light kiss on his  lips. 

"Me, too." He pulled her into a tight embrace.

"Bye. I'll see you later at the office." She pulled out of  his warm arms and exited the apartment.

Toby closed the door behind her, and he still had trouble  wiping the goofy grin off his face when he walked into the shower ten  minutes later. 

*****

\-- To Be Continued --

  

  


	4. Heartstrings 4

Disclaimers: see Part I

***** Heartstrings - Part IV *****

***** 

"Hey, Joshua!" C.J. entered his office, sitting down on the   
chair across his desk.

"Hi, C.J.!" he looked up at C.J, and he immediately noticed   
that her face was beaming.

"Wait. Before you say a word," he looked at her   
speciously. "Did you go to the bar and get laid last night after you   
left Toby's apartment?" 

"No, why?" She tried to sound nonchalant, but the excitement   
in her voice was clearly evident to Josh.

"Tell me, who was the lucky guy?"

"Nobody."

"Liar! Come on, C.J. I am your best friend; you know you can   
trust me with your little secrets."

She took a deep breath. "Okay, remember that I told you that   
I met a guy named Andrew when I was in England."

"Yah."

"I met him again." Well, that was true - technically, she   
thought. Although she didn't meet Toby yesterday, she DID just meet   
him as ANDREW again yesterday.

"No way!" Josh exclaimed.

"Yes way." She knew she was smiling like an idiot, but she   
couldn't control herself.

"You didn't see the guy for fourteen years, and all of the   
sudden he just pop up again? How did that happen?"

"Well, I bumped into him on the street." She hoped that   
sound reasonable.

"Wow, I am so happy for you, Claudia Jean." He jumped up   
from his chair and pulled her into a bear hug.

She rested her head on he head. It was so nice to have a   
friend like Josh, who is happy simply because she is happy.

"So... Are you two back together?" He pulled away from her,   
seeking her eyes.

"Yah." She could feel herself blushing.

"Wow. So, what is he like? What does he do? When can I   
meet him?"

< What does he do?! Well, how about he is the White House   
Communications Director for an answer. That will make Josh fall out   
of the chair. > However, she knew she was not ready to tell anyone   
about Toby yet, not even Josh. 

Toby chose that moment to come into the office to save her   
from telling Josh another white lie. "Josh, do you have the memo for   
the Gun Control bill?" He stopped dead on his track when he saw   
C.J. 

Josh handed him the memo after finally finding it piled under   
tons of file folders.

"Thank you, Josh." Toby gave C.J. a slight smile that made   
her heart race and knees weakening.

"Thank you? Somebody else is also in a good mood today."   
Josh whistled after Toby left the room.

"You think too much, Josh. I will see you later," C.J.   
walked out of the office in a hurry, still trying to calm her racing   
heartbeat.

She couldn't believe that Toby had such a great effect on   
her. A small smile? It took only a SMILE from Toby to turn the   
White House Press Secretary into a love struck teenager? Gosh, she   
needed to get a hold of herself, or it wouldn't be long before the   
rest of staffers found out what was going on between her and Toby. 

< Toby would have a field day if he knew how much effect he   
had on me. Oh, and let's don't forget the twin clowns, Josh and Sam.   
They would tease me with it for ages. >

*****

The radio was playing Boyzone's 'No Matter What'. C.J.   
hummed along with the radio and thought about how well the lyrics fit   
her and Toby while she tried to maneuver her car through the traffic   
toward Toby's apartment. She was in a good mood today. The new   
polling number on the approval rating of President Bartlet came out   
that evening, and it had increased another 6 percent, which gave them   
the all time high of 72 percent. The Gun Control bill was sailing   
smoothly through Congress, and they expected to gain some more points   
when Congress signed the bill next week. Most importantly her   
relationship with Toby was blossoming. It had been three weeks since   
she and Toby decided to pick up where they left off fourteen years   
ago, and she was happier than she had been in years. They had   
decided to hide it from the rest of their coworkers, that meant there   
would be no hand holding, kissing, or hugging in the White House, but   
they tried to spend almost all of their free time outside of work   
together. And she was enjoying every minute of it.

She parked her car on the street in front of Toby's   
apartment, and made her way toward the front door. She opened the   
door with the key Toby gave her that morning but stopped dead in her   
tracks when she saw the two persons sitting closely to each other on   
the sofa in his living room. Toby's arm was wrapped tightly around   
Congresswoman Wyatt, and his head rested comfortably on top of hers,   
which was pressing tightly against his chest. C.J. couldn't believe   
what she was seeing. She felt her world was crumbling down on her.

"Toby?" She asked softly, not knowing what to say.

"C.J.!" Toby jumped away from Andrea when he heard her voice.

C.J. quickly turned around and ran out of the house. She   
could hear Toby calling her name behind her, but she kept running.   
Tears started to blur her sight, but she fought to keep them back.   
She couldn't believe what she just saw. She felt someone stuck a   
knife into her heart, and it hurt. 

< God! It really hurts; why does it hurt so much. Somebody   
help me, please! > 

*****

\-- To Be Continued -- 

  


	5. Heartstrings 5

Disclaimers: see Part I

***** Heartstrings - Part V *****

***** 

"C.J.!" Josh was shocked to see C.J. sitting at the front  door of his apartment building when he came home from the office. It  was raining hard, and she didn't even put on her raincoat. The rain  had soaked her from head to toe.

She tried to stand up when she saw him, but her legs gave out  on her.

"You are SOAKED, C.J.! What happened?" Josh helped her to  stand up, and quickly took off his coat to cover on the soaked Press  Secretary.

"Come on. Let's go inside." He opened the door with his  free hand, and pushed C.J. inside.

"Have a seat. Let me go get some towels for you."

"Here are some clean clothes; I think you better go take a  hot shower before you catch a cold." Josh came out of his bedroom,  holding some clothes of his in his hands.

"C.J.? Are you okay?" C.J. still stood where he left her  five minutes ago, clad in her wet clothes, and she made no attempt to  take the clothes Josh handed her. Searching her eyes, Josh realized  that the life was gone from her eyes, and they were empty. He never  saw her like that, not even when she found out that Brian had cheated  on her after she came back from London, and he was really starting to  worry.

"C.J.! C.J.!" He waved his hand in front of her, trying to  get her attention.

"Come on, C.J.! Say something. You are scaring me." He  pulled her into his arms.

"I lost him." She said with a barely audible voice.

"I lost him. He went back to his ex-wife." The sight she  saw at Toby's apartment came into her head, and the tears she tried  so hard to hold back finally broke free.

"You mean Andrew." Josh tried to understand what she was  talking about.

"I saw he and Congresswoman Wyatt... God! How can he do  this to me." Tears kept pouring down from her eyes.

"Are you sure Andrew and Congresswoman Wyatt aren't just  friends? You said she was his ex-wife right?" Still wrapping his  arms around her, he sat both of them down on the sofa.

"Wait! Congresswoman WYATT? Isn't she Toby's ex-wife?"  Josh's jaw dropped, "are you telling me what I am thinking?" He  stared at C.J. like she suddenly had a third eye on her head.

"Andrew is Toby's middle name." She realized that she could  no longer hide it from Josh.

"You mean you and Toby..." He swallowed hard, trying to  digest what he just heard.

"Not anymore. From what I saw, he is back with Andrea."  Remembering the sight of Toby and Andrea in his living room, she  broke into another round of tears, "how can he do this to me? How  can he..." she trailed of.

Josh pulled her into his arm, trying to comfort her. "Shhhh,  don't cry. There must be an explanation for that. Toby won't do  that to you."

"You know what, you are all wet. You better go change out of  these clothes before you catch a cold. Tomorrow we will talk to  Toby, and I am sure he will tell you that you misunderstood the whole  thing. He will say that YOU are the one he loves, not Andrea."

"But..."

"No buts, Claudia Jean." He interrupted her. 

"You are going to listen to me and take that shower. We will  worry about everything else tomorrow. Okay?" He pulled C.J. up from  the sofa and led her toward the bathroom.

*****

"Where are Josh and C.J.?" The President asked the group of  staffs around him.

"Sam, call Josh and C.J.'s office, tell them that the  President is waiting," Leo ordered.

"Excuse me, Mr. President." Margaret stood at the  door, "Leo, Josh is on line 2; he wants to talk to you."

"Margaret, I am not interested in hearing any excuse from  Josh, so tell him to get his ass in the Oval office NOW," said a  grouchy White House Chief of Staff.

"He said it's important."

"Even the dog next door giving birth to a dozen puppies is  important to Josh," Leo said impatiently; he gave Sam, who tried  unsuccessfully to hide his smile, a stern stare.

"Leo, answer the phone," ordered the President who also tried  very hard to fight back his own laughter.

"Yes, sir." Leo said, picking up the phone on the side table.

"Josh, where the hell are you? Do you know what time it  is?" Leo barked into the phone.

Leo listened to the phone intensely for a few minutes, and  his expression turned somber as the conversation dragged on. "Is she  all right? Okay... Okay..." 

Everyone in the room turned his/her attention to Leo's one- sided conversation; they all could hear the concern in his voice.  Toby felt his heart jump to his throat. He found C.J.'s car parked  on the street in front of Josh's apartment late that morning after he  waited at her front door for hours and she never returned home. That  meant the 'she' that Leo asked about might very well be C.J. He  looked down at his intertwined hands and realized they were shaking  uncontrollably.

"What happened?" Everyone in the room asked at the same time  when Leo finally hanged up the phone.

"It was Josh calling from Georgetown Medical Center," said  Leo with a serious face, "he said he found C.J., who was soaked to  the skin by the heavy rain last night, sitting at his front door when  he got home from work. After some pleading and threatening, he  finally talked her into staying in his guestroom last night. When  Josh went to check on her this morning, he realized that she had an  awfully high fever, and he couldn't wake her up. He called 911, and  they took her to the emergency room at Georgetown Medical Center.  The doctor who treated C.J. told Josh that she had a severe case of  pneumonia, and they put her in ICU to watch her carefully," 

"Is she going to be all right?" Asked the worrying  President, who always thought of C.J. as his daughter.

"The doctors are trying to bring her fever down, and they are  pretty optimistic about her condition. They think she should be back  on her feet in two weeks if not sooner." Leo tried to hide the  concern in his voice, but it was clearly evident to everyone in the  room.

"Call Josh and tell him to inform the doctors that I am very  concerned about the well being of C.J., and I want her to receive the  best possible treatment available. Tell him that is an executive  order from the President of the United States," the President told  Leo while he tried to call his wife at the other end of the building.

"Abby, C.J. is hospitalized with pneumonia; do you have time  to go check on her now?"

"Yes, the doctors think she should be fine. However, I will  feel better if you can go to the hospital to make sure the doctors  are doing their best for her."

"Can you call me as soon as you get back? Okay. Thanks,  Abby."

*****

\-- To Be Continued --

  

  


	6. Heartstrings 6

Disclaimers: see Part I

***** Heartstrings - Part VI *****

Toby found himself ready to explode over the concern for C.J.  
when he was finally able to leave the West Wing at six o'clock that  
night. He planned to go visit C.J. with Leo, Sam, Charlie and  
everybody else during the lunch break, but work kept piling up on his  
desk and there was no way that he could get away from his office.  
Luckily, he was able to corner Sam in his office when he came back  
from the hospital after lunchtime. He loosened a bit when Sam told  
him that even though she had not woken up yet, her fever already  
dropped dramatically. However, he knew he wouldn't fully relax until  
he saw her with his own eyes.

He pushed her hospital door open nervously with his shaking  
hand. He didn't know what C.J. would do when she saw him.

"Josh, for the ten thousandth time, I am feeling fine," she  
called out edgily when she heard the door click.

"Hi. How are you feeling?" He was surprised to see her  
already awake when he walked into her hospital room.

"Toby! I'm sorry. I thought you were Josh. He has been  
bugging me the whole afternoon; I finally talked him into going to  
the cafeteria to get something to eat five minutes ago." C.J. tensed  
when she saw him. She didn't know how to face him yet.

"I know Josh can be a pain in the ass sometimes."

"Yah, tell me about it. Ever since I woke up a couple hours  
ago, Josh has asked me how I feel at least once every ten minutes.  
He's made me want to be unconscious again," she tried to sound  
irritated, but he knew she was clearly touched by Josh's concern.

"You and Josh are pretty close?" He sat down on the chair  
next to her bed.

C.J. was pleased to detect the jealousy in his voice even  
though he tried very hard to hide it. Did that meant she had not  
lost the battle completely?

"Remember that I told you about my ex-boyfriend Brian?" Toby  
nodded. "Well, Josh was his roommate and good buddy. We used to  
double date a lot with Josh and his girlfriend at the time. When  
Brian and I broke up, I kept in touch with Josh. He is like a  
brother for me. He is always there to protect me, take care of me,  
and pick me up when I fall. I count myself lucky to have someone  
like Josh in my life, although sometimes his over protectiveness  
nearly drives me insane." C.J. smiled, remembering the time when  
Josh threatened to sue her ex fiancé because he called off their  
engagement.

"So how are you really feeling?" Toby asked after a beat,  
taking in her pale face and weak voice.

She rolled her eyes. "I am FINE, and I will feel a lot better  
if you can get me out of here."

They fell into an awkward silence, and neither one of them  
know what to say. Toby nearly winced when he saw the sight of  
usually energetic C.J. lying pale on the hospital bed with an IV line  
injected into her arm, and the thought that it was entirely his fault  
that C.J. was out there in the rain last night made he felt even  
worse. The guilt was eating him alive.

"How was the briefing this afternoon?" said C.J. when the  
silence started to make her feel thoroughly uncomfortable.

"Don't worry. Sam did the briefing. Although I don't think  
he was much better than Josh, at least he didn't invent any secret  
plan for the President."

"That's a relief," she replied sarcastically.

"About last night..." Toby started after a beat.

"Wait. You don't have to explain anything to me." C.J.  
interrupted him. She knew Toby was going to tell her that he and  
Andrea were back together, and a sorry from him would not make her  
bleeding heart feel any better.

"No, it is not what you think. Andrea and I didn't get back  
together. She just found out that her boyfriend cheated on her  
yesterday morning, and as a friend I was only trying to comfort her."

She lifted her head and looked at his eyes directly for the  
first time since he came in the room ten minutes ago. The gleam in  
her eyes gave him the strength he needed to tell her what he was  
about to say.

"C.J." He took her right hand in his and squeezed  
it, "letting you go fourteen years ago was one of the biggest  
mistakes that I've ever made, and I never stop regretting it. I know  
I was never good at telling people my real feelings, but..."

Toby took a deep breath, trying to gather all his  
courage. "C.J., I love you, and I want to be with you. Can you give  
me one more chance?"

She looked at him with wide eyes. Was that really Toby  
telling her that he loved her, or was that a hallucination caused by  
her fever. She had dreamed about this ever since she met Toby again  
at the Bartlet family home almost four years ago, and she almost  
convinced herself that it would never come true. She could not  
believe it was actually happening.

"God, Toby. Are you trying to make me cry? If so, then you  
are doing a damn great job," she said with a hoarse voice, and tears  
started to drop from her eyes.

Toby sat by her bed, and stared at C.J. He hadn't seen C.J.  
cry since that day at the London airport, and he really had no idea  
what to do with a teary C.J. Finally, he did the only thing he could  
think of. He got up from the chair, sat beside C.J. on her bed and  
pulled her into a tight embrace. He rested his head on top of hers  
and whispered words of love and caring into her ears.

That was the scene that Josh saw when he walked into the room  
ten minutes later, and both C.J. and Toby were too wrapped up in  
their little world to realize that they had an audience. Josh exited  
the room quietly, deciding to give the reunited lovers some privacy.

*****

"Hey, Toby." Josh, who was leaning against the wall next to  
C.J.'s door, called him when Toby left her room nearly half an hour  
later.

"Is she asleep?"

"Yes."

"You know C.J. is like a sister to me, don't you?"

"Yes." Toby ventured warily, not sure what Josh was going to  
say.

"Can you promise me that you will take care of her, and you  
will never hurt her again?" Josh asked with an unusually serious  
face.

"I promise." Toby extended his hand toward Josh, and he knew  
that was one promise, which he had no intention of breaking.

"Good. If you make her cry again, I'll hunt you down no  
matter where you are," said Josh, who shook his hand firmly.

  
\-- The End --  



End file.
